Death. Not that I want to die sooner. But I am interested to know what happens after I die. There are only two possible scenarios, either there’s something after death or there’s nothing. If there’s something, I won’t be disappointed because I am eager to know. And if there’s nothing, I won’t know because I am gone. There will be no concept of me in existence.
The study of philosophy isn’t meant to make one’s life good or bad, happy or sad. It’s about thinking and attempting to answer questions in metaphysics, ethics, epistemology etc. Questions as fundamental as why do we exist, what makes humans different from other animals, what is consciousness etc have been the quintessential intellectual debate for thousands of years and it’s very likely that no one will get an absolute answer, an ironclad argument or fact. See, it’s never black and white. It’s a spectrum. It’s nuanced. But it doesn’t matter because along the journey of studying philosophy, actively thinking about such issues and questions, is in and of itself great enjoyment for some. And for most, they will understand themselves and others on a deeper level. You might disagree with what I have said, but that’s something I firmly believe in. Something that I fight for. And I am sure, or at least I hope, everyone has their intrinsic values that they think are worth fighting for.
Life is paradoxical, don’t you think? I remember going to buffet dinners when I was still a young child and I would devour all the food because I wanted to make the experience worthwhile. But by doing so, I had already defeated the purpose of a buffer dinner. It’s not about the amount or total worth of food you can indulge in, it’s the experience of getting to choose a variety of food, as well as the experience of eating in a fine hotel restaurant. The more we actively chase after something, the less likely we are to get it. That’s not to say we don’t pursue a particular goal, rather the orthodoxy or convention of looking at success may not be a correct depiction of reality. Perhaps to finally achieve something you want, you need to look the other way, to go off the beaten path.